Get Intimate with Me

Lady Of The Sea

2005-07-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

She's free.
She's wild.
She is who she is.
Nobody tells her which way her waves are to go.
She waves the way that she wants to.

Nobody tells her that she's too loud.
She crashes on the shore with a wild spirit that cannot be stopped.
She is beautiful for who she is.

She is a free spirit that takes control of her own environment.
She goes where she wants to, she is as loud as she wants to be.
She embraces all who come to her shores to marvel at her beauty, no questions asked.
She does not want you to be subdued in her presence.
She does not ask you to keep your voice down when you are enjoying her company.
She wants you there.
She needs you there, for, without you she is nothing.

You could try to tame her, in your selfishness.
You could try to calm her spirit, but you will be put in your place.
Many seamen can attest to that.
She will wrap you up within her wrath and she will teach you that wild beauty cannot be tamed. If your life is what you must give in order to learn who she is, then she is willing to accept your offerings.
She is the ocean.
She is wild.
She is free.

She calls to you, in your midnight slumber.
She wrestles your demons for you just as quickly as she could become demonic to you.
There is no turning back once you've angered her. She will decide the price to be paid. She is nature.
She not need to impress with impeccable manners. She need not sway you with her fancy words and flashy looks.
She will simply whisper lightly in your ear, calling to your inner conscience and before you know it, you are captured within her trance.
She will make you dance within the moonlight, and fall in love to the rhythmic sounds of her song. She will guide you with her breezes to a place that you call home.
She is wild
She is free
She is the ocean.

Her powers will awe you. They will inspire you to be more than you are.
She will caress your cheek with her kisses.
Her undying love will carry your heart to the heavens above. Her anger will kill your spirit in a heartbeat should you show any disrespect.
She will lull you to sleep with her silent lullibies just as soon as she would wake you with her sireness voice.
If you are open to her, she will seep into your soul, she will become you.
You will not ever escape her grasp, nor will you ever want to.
She is you.
She is within you, beseeching you to heed her calling, to listen to her warning, and to accept her grace for what she is.
She is free
She is wild
She is the ocean.

For those whom are lucky enough to become one with her, she will be their soul mate.
She will hold you within her grasp and never let you go.
Always affording you the same freedoms that she has been afforded for all of eternity.
She is heaven on earth just the same as she could be hell in reality.
She knows who she is
She will not allow a human to change her course, divert her attentions or be tamed by man's hand.
She will do as she pleases with no care to the consequence to mankind.
Her freedom is your freedom, should you accept her as she is.
She is the ocean.
She is wild
She is free.

Written on the beaches of Cancun
By Melia Shumaker

In Darkened Lair

2005-04-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

You come and smother
Leaving me helpless and cold
And then you vanish.
Slinking into the darkness
Leaving your scent behind.
You are my last wish.

My breath, you take
My thoughts, you muddle
I've ran from you before
Yet unknowingly toward you
Confused, I go with the flow
I run for more.

In dreams my feet have no connection
To the earthly ground below
Your eyes guide me restlessly through
Weaving in and out of heaven's light
Urging me forth with conviction
Ignoring my lack of desire for you.

Why do I find myself helpless to you
So weak and unsure of your intentions
Yet sure I've no business here.
Somehow, I cannot control the direction
The darkness hides all strength and will
Allowing my heart to fill with fear.

By AzJade

Ramblings......

2005-02-24T11:09:00.000-08:00

It is hard for me to see
the excriment that has become
me.
In a child's eye
they do not lie
I found their words enlightening.
Woeful tormented life
seam bursting strife
through it all is family
this much i can see.
Yet I wallow in
the darkness
My fate left to the gnomes.
Why can't i get a grip
on things
the answer written in stone.

2005-01-20T13:17:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Riding The Storm

2005-01-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

Afraid of the rain storms
I hide 'neath my shell.
Awaiting the winds that blow
and the waters to swell.
Lost in these shadows
my soul reveals its fear
Crying out into the night
hoping someone is near.

"Save Me" I cry
drowning, I don't know what to do.
Terror grips my heart
Will I ever make it through?
Silence echoes all around
cold is the air around me
I pray for warmth and light
I beg for the ability to see.
Give me strength, oh Lord
that I may weather this rain
Return my life to normalicy
So that I may be free again.

Copywritten by AzJade

Burned

2005-01-04T10:59:00.001-08:00

A long time ago
In a land far far away
You stood.
Long within the shadows
Of the setting sun
Florescent clouds behind you
Your silhouette dark.
Invading my dreams
Entering my secret chambers
I could think of nothing
But you.
Still.

by AzJade

Repudiation

2005-01-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

the deceit burns
like acid on your flesh in the moonlight.
i get lost easily
fighting to find my way by flashlight
through thicket
and twine wrapped among the mosses
as if it were left there
to entangle and bring together the losses.
place your hand on my body
warm and melting beneath the anger within
pain coming through as dry ice in wine
i'll forget the lies
one day i will forget there ever was a time.

Goodnight

2005-01-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

This is the last page
This is the last song
Listen carefully
Don't take it all wrong.
I've written before my love
And I will write some more
As for you and this wretched pain
It's time to close this door.

Goodnight my love,
Sleep tight my sweet
Let the bedbugs bite
Let them ravage and feed
Till your soul remains
Just a gnarled empty core
So you cannot hurt me anymore
Goodnight…

This is the end
The last line of this ol' fairytale
Of damsel in distress
The prince a typical male
Who left her heart to bleed
Who let the flowers die
After giving me your seed
And so I whisper in the night………

Goodnight my love,
Sleep tight my sweet
Let the bedbugs bite
Let them ravage and feed
Till your soul remains
Just a gnarled empty core
So you cannot hurt me anymore
Goodnight…

by AzJade

And Down Again I Fall

2005-01-04T10:57:00.001-08:00

Spider's webs
They're weaving
Constantly deceiving
My torrid soul.
Pompous dreams
Fly all around me
Sacred chants abounding
Floating, swirling, surrounding
Reaching fingers for heaven.
The ground softens
Falling away from my step
Adding to this runaway train wreck
That's knocked me down
And down again I fall….

There is no magic
No words or fairy dust
No evil gnomes to tame this lust
That rules my heart tonight.

And down again I fall
Weak kneed and teary eyed.
Broken and blue
No I'm not breathing…
I stopped breathing.

by AzJade

A Road Traveled

2005-01-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

I've taken this walk before
Treaded this ground
Worn these scars,
Yet, never before, my love
Was the walk this treacherous;
the ground this soft;
the scars this deep.
Each day with you
Is new and frightfull.

With each breath of fresh air
Is a new fear realized.
Welcoming and warm
Like Snow White's Apple;
Irresistably dangerous.
The calm within the storm,
I feel the tensions
Mounting on all sides
I prepare for the aftermath.

The devistation after the thrill.
Why on earth did I open up
To let the cold winds in?
Will I survive this walk?
Will I be able to stand on this ground;
Yet more heavily weighed
Will I heal from these new scars?
Only you hold the answers that I seek.

by AzJade

My Eyes They Follow

2005-01-04T10:56:00.001-08:00

You walk away
I watch you go
You took my heart
But you'll never know.

You touched my soul
When you spoke my name
You broke my spirit
With the games you played.

Yet, still I am breathing
Standing on my own two feet.
Yeah, I am reeling
You shook my world to it's core.
I allowed you in
You slammed the door
You broke my heart
Yet you won't break my stride anymore.

You walked away
Simple and clean
No thought or care
Just cold and mean.

by AzJade

Out Of The Dark

2005-01-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

I have never been this hurt
it is an inside fleshy wound.
Deep within the resounding nervous system
hidden beyond the white blood cells
strangely sticking to my ribs.
Dig it out
take away the rot from the inside.
Bring sleep to me in droves
and wine to dizzy the pain.
Soft touches
turning into hungry need
desire spins the room
the fire makes me bleed.
The words dance naked
spinning within the cobwebs of my mind
echoing dangerously in my eyes
my lips part only minimally
in order to suck in the sweet air.
Make a tourniquet
place it around my heart
cinch it tighter, the winch you hold
the hurt will kill the pain
the blood will run pure
and I will heal.

by AzJade

The Angels Sang and God Smiled Down

2005-01-04T10:55:00.001-08:00

There was a place and time
Where fear ruled my heart.
Each step I took forward
Tore my soul apart.
Every night I'd close my eyes
I would pray for eternal sleep
And every day the sun would shine
I would lay still and weep.
Too hard, too long
Was the road I would go
Would the path ever smooth out?
Is happiness something I would know?
Then one day to my surprise
The angels sang and God smiled down
It seemed this was the moment
My life would turn around.
It happened when I saw you
First gazing into your eyes
You calmed my spirit
You muffled my cries.
You brought light unto my path
I could now see the bumps ahead.
Your voice soothed my soul
I no longer faced life with dread.
Soon the moonlight brought magic
Stardust twinkled in your eyes
Your lips so soft within the night
Words replaced with heartfelt sighs.
Lingering still, your touch upon my skin
Your hands around my waist
I was moved by your gentleness
I was stilled by your grace.
Falling so swiftly through darkness
I found myself falling in love with you
He put you into my path
To show me a love that's true.
I shall never let you go
I will cling to this love you give
I hand over my heart to you
For as long as I shall live.

by AzJade

Encroachment

2005-01-04T10:55:00.000-08:00

How can I love thee
While willows wave careless
Among airy blue skies?
How can I feel as free
As a breeze
That gently sways
Through a midsummer's garden.
Vibrantly blooming;
The sun and earth
Bestow constant grooming;
Nourishment by nature.
Heaven's rains
Wash tepid tears away, alas,
The collective dust on petals fair.

How can I love thee
While dandelions dance
On beds of blackened soil?
Darkness touching roots
As my own feet glide
Effortlessly above this earth?
On angel's wings I am guided
Down from Heaven's grace,
If only to find you
Mockingly occupying this space.
Your laughter rings
And sings out
Songs of furthermore.
Future plans and dreams, they drown
As you tightly shut that door.
And, so I stare at tomorrow's end.
Beyond what cloudless night
Lies the nevermore.

I ask this of my torrid soul
"How can I love thee?"
As I love with every ounce.
How can this love grow
As the vibrant gardens do below?
From this place
Of fairness and grace,
It is that which I ponder.
Ah.....But I do.
Forever in time,
I love thee, lover of mine.

by AzJade

Left To Bleed

2005-01-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

White hot tears
Stain my heart tonight
Reliving all the years
I'd given up the fight.

I hide from this scar
That I wear across my chest
To warn from afar
To chase away the rest.

In my mind I ride the skies
Gliding high above the filth of pain
I saw hiding behind your eyes
Riding on your hell bound train.

Yet again I fell to the ground
Blown away by your evil lies
Ripped my soul up without a sound
And left me to bleed in my skies.

I'm drowning now, here alone
I used to dance in the moon
And sing where the sun shone
And skinny dip at noon.

You stripped me of my trust
You engorged on my seed
You raped me of my lust
You had your fill and left me here to bleed.

by AzJade

Bubble Gum

2005-01-04T10:53:00.001-08:00

To those I've left behind

My voice carries
Across fields of laurel and sweet peas
My strength resonates
Through the molten fire of hell's gates.
I rocked your world before
You wore me out, I can't breathe anymore.
You torched my soul
You burned it low
Resurrection is my goal
I only need my God to make me whole.

I leave you asking when
I want you to beg again
Find your fear
Then let me near
So I can slam that door
Leave you wanting more.

Sea screens and dreamscapes
Band-Aids won't heal soul scrapes
Twine and bubble gum work well
I've been through this, can you tell?
No words shall you hear
I'm long gone, forget me dear
Loose my number, forget my name
I am finished with this game!

by AzJade

Playing Dress Up

2005-01-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

For love to be real, one must accept you as your are....

A white dress shirt
Micro skirt
Painted eyes
Stocking clad thighs
Ride light on heels
Dressed to kill tonight.

Evil red lips
Matching fingertips
Graceful hunt
Isn't this what you want?
Sleek in the night
Dressed to stand up and fight.

You can run from me
Shove me out to sea
I seek you
Searching in spite
Take cover in the night
Like a beacon
I hear your voice
And I run to you……

Lost in the quiet
Tailed in the riot
Cold in the warm
Feeling odd in the norm
These contradictions I fight
Dressed to kill tonight.

You loved me then
You could love me again
Close your eyes
Feel my cries
I ask, I beg you why?
Dressed to lie down and die
Dressed to kill tonight.

Dance

2005-01-04T10:52:00.001-08:00

I take into consideration
This joyous obliteration
As you dance with me
On evil ground we're walking
Only trolls and gnomes are stalking
As you dance with me…..

And the music
That they are playing
Has even antelopes swaying
Haunting restlessly
As you dance with me.

The starlight enhances
Your gaze entrances
As you dance with me.
The cold winds are howling
The soulless disemboweling
As you dance with me.

And the music
That they are playing
Has even antelopes swaying
Haunting restlessly
As you dance with me.

The quick commotion
Turns sweet slow motion
As you dance with me.
Tomorrows play slips
Turn into night trips
As you dance with me.

by AzJade

No Closer

2005-01-04T10:52:00.000-08:00

Just out of reach
Nearly out of time.
I run like hell to get to you,
I need to make you mine.
I can taste you when I breathe
Closer than the air around me
You surround me, always.

Yet never nearer than this
No closer shall you roam.
Your freedom to run
Will forever be your own.
Knowing this I swallow hard
A tear trails from my eye
I try not to think about
How long I may cry.

This one's going to hurt
Though not a dark or evil pain.
This is something to be cherished, yet
Surely I would do it all again.
Just to have felt your breath once
Or to lie in the linger of you in my bed.
To again have kissed your sweet lips
And had you swimming in my head.

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"This is to the one whom I longed to feel their love. It never happened."

Cleanse Me

2005-01-04T10:51:00.000-08:00

I fall down upon my knees
And I am prayin'
Take away this endless pain
I'm done playin'
Call upon the heavens
Please, please start rainin'
Cleanse me….

My soul is full of cobwebs
And it's bleedin'
My voice is silent in the night
I am reelin'
Following those shooting stars
Blindly seein'
Cleanse me…..

Wash away this pain
You have drenched me
Shelter me with sun rays
Please entrench me
Leave me standin' tall
Among the majestic oak trees
Won't you cleanse me……

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"Begging the Lord to cleanse away the pain, the heal the hurt, and show me light again."

Wishes In Quick Sand

2005-01-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

Forever beyond
Each golden sunrise
Lies the eternal flame
I found in your eyes.
Just beyond reach
Of father time
Rides the tides of emotion
That will make you mine.
Somewhere within
Silken quick sand
I dream of gracious tomorrows.
So far from where we began.
And on a shooting star
I make one wish for you
That wherever we roam
I should roam with you.

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"Because I love you. Because I dream of days to come. Because I could not keep hold..."

Truth Or Dare

2005-01-04T10:49:00.000-08:00

Ahh, I can see you there
Standing an arms length away
Wondering what would happen
If I actually knew what to say?

If I could do it
If I could get away with touching you
Would I be able to make contact
Without everyone seeing through?

Would I melt or walk away
Would I swoon right where I stood?
Would my actions go unnoticed
Would they be misunderstood?

These questions are futile
For, there will never again be a touch
In plain sight or hidden beneath the stars
I can only dream of as much.

This is where my dreaming ends
The calls they come from overhead
I have to run to someones aid
I should go before way too much is said.

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"For the love that can not be..."

Secrets

2005-01-04T10:48:00.001-08:00

I allowed myself to feed on you
Selfishly inhaling that which was not mine to take.
I consumed myself with word, touch, and fear
Never questioning the mistake.

The sun shone through the windows again
Despite my prayers for darkness' touch
How could I run so far so fast
From the very thing I'd wanted so much?

I ran until I couldn't run anymore
I found I'd run out of road to follow
Yet I keep coming back to one lone thought
Without you my life would be hollow.

Do I have a right?
To want so much these things I cannot take?
I immerse myself in thought and tears
Begging someone to ease this ache.

I do not speak of my feelings for you
I cannot bare to say things out loud
I fear that someone might hear my words
And sense the desperation in their sound.

No one shall know
Of the dance we shared beneath the night sky
Only the moon will know my secrets
only the moon will see me cry.

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"Things that sometimes should never come to light, the love, the thought, the romance, I wish to be mine tonight..."

Christmas Song

2005-01-04T10:48:00.000-08:00

Dreary dark lay just beyond
Hazy mists mocking tears.
Glittering lights winking from the dusk
Illuminating timid fears.

Carolers lose themselves in song
Carried breathless in the night
Christmas trees peek from windows warm
Pleasant in this line of sight.

Surrounded by the Holiday Spirit
Yet, I shiver 'neath my coat
I can not fathom seeing Christ among
Such pompous holiday gloat.

I cry out in soundless voice
In prayer I need to find
The truth behind the lights I see
Reflections within my mind.

A babe lie in warmth and wait
a mangers nest his bed
yet no complaint comes from within
only a single tear is shed.

Did Mary know on cold dark night
What lie before her child?
Was it clear the battle near
the fight for meek and mild?

And, Yet this day she gave her son
beseeched upon her God.
Direction was asked, direction was given
yet no one thought it odd.

Whilst celebrations do unfold
With family, friends, and wine
Please remember why we're here
to celebrate Divine.

Look beyond the tinsel and lights
to see Him smiling down
A babe is born in manger warm
To keep us safe and sound.

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"It scares me sometimes to see how wrapped up in the lights, shopping, gifts, and secondary meanings we all get during this time of year. Please remember why we have this day, for He is the only reason."

Appreciation

2005-01-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

...To My Children...

Embraced within the fire light
I see your eyes emplore me.

Touch my face
My cheek is moist
I think my eyes are leaking.

The joy I've found in life with you
Has even angels singing.

by AzJade

A Hymn

2005-01-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

I sing to thee
low and sweet
surrounding you with praise unbeat.

I pray to you
sincere and real
for the power that I long to feel.

I speak of you
loud and clear
in hopes that I shall find you near.

I worship you
in honor and grace
knowing someday I will see Your face.

I follow you
through mud and muck
during hardships in life, You are my luck.

One set or two
I know you are all around me
Never will You let me down, I follow faithfully.

by AzJade

My Own Resurrection

2005-01-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

Written before my baptism...

Before this day
I laid in wait
Searching for my home.

You spoke to me
Through sleepless dream
To me, Your world was shown.

I called to thee
On bended knee
I begged for grace and light.

Before new dawn
My heart was drawn
I had lived the darkest night.

Your warmth around
Your love surrounds
With careful hand You guide.

A tender touch
You love so much
Angels swept away the tears I cried.

Safe and sound
I knew I had been found
My future bright to see.

A new path shown
Oh how I'd grown!
On this day You made me.

by AzJade

Genesis

2005-01-04T10:44:00.000-08:00

To the kittens born today.

A baby's face
Full of grace
Tiny eyes a peerin'.

Little cries
Breathy sighs
Tiny hearts endearin'.

Miracle of God
A world beyond
Angels hearts a singin'.

Harp strings
Heaven rings
Celebratin' new a beginnin'.

by AzJade

I Want (Song)

2005-01-04T10:43:00.000-08:00

I want to
Float across the breeze without sinking
I want to
Run through the mountains without blinking.
Oh, oh….

I wanna be surreal.
I want to
Close my eyes and sleep without dreaming
I want to
Think about love without screaming
Oh, oh….
I wanna be able to feel.
I want to
Ride across the desert without thirsting
I want to
Live the fullest life without persisting
Oh, oh….
I just wanna be strong enough.
I want to
Ride a camel's back to the moonbeams
I want to
Break all the rules of their American Dreams
Oh, oh…..
I wanna be that tough.
I want to
Barter and trade for what I'm needing
I want the
Earth and my hands to do the feeding
Oh, oh….
I wanna be real.
I want to
Revive my soul by the sun's rays
I want
Love all around me to fill my days
Oh, oh….
I want to be alive.
I want to
Breathe in the scent of a good man
I want to
Know he'll always be my biggest fan
Oh, oh…
I wanna be in love.
I want the
Thrill of life to tackle and tease me
I want the
Breathless exhilaration to please me
Oh, Lord…….
I wanna be alive.

by AzJade

Layers

2005-01-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

One by one
Peel them back
Reveal whats beneath each.
Tender is the flesh
Hidden far underneath
Be gentle as you peel.
Save the layers
In tact and unharmed
I am sure they will be needed in the future
To cover the scars not yet created.
I look forward to the pain.
Bring it on in waves.
Allow me to feel that I am alive.
The layers kept me warm,
Now what do I do?
I am shivering.

by AzJade

2005-01-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

No Matter

It doesn't seem to matter where you are
Or where I am.
I can't begin to stop thinking about you.
Making love to you.
Touching you.
Tasting you.
Almost every time I close my eyes
I can feel your breath on my skin
Your mouth upon my own.
I can taste you, when I lick my lips.
Obsessed?
Maybe.
In love?
Possibly.
Desire is the word
That comes to mind.
Constant and extreme desire.
I want you.
Now.

by AzJade

2005-01-04T10:25:00.001-08:00

Parting

Your scent lingers on my couch.
Your presence, warm and comfortable
fills every corner of the house.
You are like a favorite pair of jeans,
hard to part with in every way.
You bring an ease and smile to life no other has known.
A spark that makes my eyes burn.
My thighs react much in the same way.
You make me crazy.
Spending an hour, locked away
once I'd waved you down the street.
The ache, the need, the desire
too much to hold back,
my fingers nimble with your memory.
I melt beneath your stare,
did you know, can you tell?
Climax hits and I cry your name,
alone in the bathroom I wait.
The acoustics reverberating
the sounds of my breath back to me.
I feel better now.
For now.

by AzJade

2005-01-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

Numb

Touch me, I'm numb.
My skin is reeling, yet not feeling.
Stab me with your eyes,
burn through my very being.
I am numb to you.
I am numb to life.
I am numb to my own touch.
My skin is caught in the middle
Of the transitional stage that my mind
And my soul are currently swirling in.
This would be a good time to get some new ink done.
A good time for being whipped into submission.
I wouldn't feel it.
Not a good time, however, for an orgasm.
It wouldn't happen.
There are good things to being numb, and there are bad.
Right now, I don't even care.

I am Numb.

by AzJade

2005-01-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

Don't

Don't you dare me to "make" you smile
by predicting failure
with seduction dripping from your eyes.

Don't think for one minute
that it would take me more than one minute
to cause loss of muscle control, between your thighs...

Don't you dare me to "make" you shut up
challenging me to fail, teasing
while your voice aches of desire.

Don't betray your carnal need
knowing I would act upon that dare
and encompass you within my fire.

Do you dare to taste ecstacy
with the passion of the Gods
skillfully savoring the juices that flow?

Abate the tease, dare me once more
knowing through my sultry voice
you will experience everything you're dying to know.

by AzJade

2004-12-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas Song

Dreary dark lay just beyond
Hazy mists mocking tears.
Glittering lights winking from the dusk
Illuminating timid fears.

Carolers loose themselves in song
Carried breathless in the night
Christmas trees peek from windows warm
Pleasant in this line of sight.

Surrounded by the Holiday Spirit
Yet, I shiver 'neath my coat
I can not fathom seeing Christ among
Such pompous holiday gloat.

I cry out in soundless voice
In prayer I need to find
The truth behind the lights I see
Reflections within my mind.

A babe lie in warmth and wait
a mangers nest his bed
yet no complaint comes from within
only a single tear is shed.

Did Mary know on cold dark night
What lie before her child?
Was it clear the battle near
the fight for meek and mild?

And, Yet this day she gave her son
beseeched upon her God.
Direction was asked, direction was given
yet no one thought it odd.

Whilst celebrations do unfold
With family, friends, and wine
Please remember why we're here
to celebrate Divine.

Look beyond the tinsel and lights
to see Him smiling down
A babe is born in manger warm
To keep us safe and sound.

by AzJade

Author's Comments:
"It scares me sometimes to see how wrapped up in the lights, shopping, gifts, and secondary meanings we all get during this time of year. Please remember why we have this day, for He is the only reason."

[Listening to: Breath Of Heaven (Mary's Song) - Amy Grant - Home For Christmas ]

Simply...

2004-11-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

I can not forget.
You have a window into my soul.
I run from you. You know why. I know why.
I hate myself for it.
The fear.
The longing.
The internal arguments constantly going on, threatening eruption like that of an active volcano to the land it holds.
I don't know how, to ignore it.
The fear.
The longing.
I don't know how to over come. I don't know how to hold on for the ride.
I ask these things of myself.
I beseech those whom are close, for answers, definitions.
Yet, it is my own soul, the darkness within, the walls around, that do not allow me to answer.
Things they can't know, don't want to know.
Neither do I.
The capacity to follow, to lend myself to the curves of life, I can not attain the power to bare myself to you.
I belong to the night.
To the questions at hand.
To the fear.
The longing.
I am owned.
Somehow right now, yet never tomorrow, by you.

[Listening to: Dance Without Sleeping - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

Burned

2004-11-15T07:59:00.000-08:00

[Listening to: Razor's Edge - Saliva - Survival Of The Sickest ]

A Whisper

2004-10-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

You came and went with a breath
Hardly anything to hold on to for future reference.
So I hold onto the nights.
Huddled and cuddled against the cold within your embrace.
Facing uncertain futures
Thinking of only today.
You come and go like the night.
As soon as I close my eyes
You're gone again.
Maybe tomorrow you'll stay a while.

[Listening to: Get Over Yourself - Eden's Crush - ]

Once

2004-10-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

Let me in.
Tell me that I am everything you've dreamed.
Allow yourself time to absorb the emotion.
I shall not be denied.
I beg of you to hear me.
Speak to me as that of a friend.
True to form I will be there, listening.
I will allow you to hurt me.
And, once, you will belong to me for the night.

[Listening to: Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac - Tango In The Night ]

Confessions of a Woman

2004-10-01T17:18:00.000-07:00

I am longing
To satiate this need.
Complete the circle of desire,
Get you up to speed.
You see, I've wanted for so long
I've just not the energy to be that strong.

Somewhere I saw your face
Looking back from the crowd
Was it wishful thinking?
Are thoughts like this allowed?
Can't you see I'm lost
Following behind you, despite the cost.

I don't know where I am going
When I leave this desert town
But I know there is something out there
That will keep my soul less bound.
My angels say that it's alright
I beg for you to come to me tonight.

[Listening to: Track 10 - Unknown Artist - Unknown Album (10/1/2004 3:41:25 PM) ]

Transparent

2004-09-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

Numb
I am left reeling.
None
That's the answers that I have.
Some
Difficult thoughts have tried to pass.
One
Sentence stands out within my mind.
What
Do I do with these feelings?
How
Do I absorb what you'd said?
Alone
I sit and nothing comes to mind
Blank
Cobwebs and dust storms swirl
Numb.
That is what I am feeling.

[Listening to: Secret Agent - Melissa Etheridge - Lucky ]

Exhale

2004-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

Conquering
This boundless dream
Fills my mind tonight.
Drawing near
Every breath you take
Chasing away fright.
Exhaling
Finally, into peace.
Lulled silent by your voice
Calming
Warm baritones hold me.
I surrender under no other choice.
Dreaming
I pray for sleep to stay
Wanting never again to wake
Calling to you
Through fluid song
I beg of you to ease this ache.

[Listening to: The Letting Go - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

But.......

2004-08-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

I recall the quiet words whispered
In between darkness and light
I recall feeling like the wind
Lilting warm in heaven's sight.

I recall looking in your eyes
Searching for everything I found
I recall hearing your voice
And floating for days on it's sound.

But...
You said you loved me last night
Where did it come from?
This darkness in your eyes tonight
How can you say it's done?
The way we felt, the way we loved
Where did it come from?

I recall the times we laughed
Lightly you'd brush my skin
Glancing quickly towards you
Our eyes met and that's where you begin...

[Listening to: It's for You - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

Denial

2004-08-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

Empty and cold
I face the night alone
Velvet patterned skies
Reflecting in your eyes.

Pain and confusion run deep
Caught in the middle I weep
Mourning the love I had
Wondering where things went bad.

Does it really matter
Once the heart is tattered
Beaten, bruised and battered
Does it really matter?

Running in the night
Terror, filled with fright
Screaming to the Gods
Denial against all odds

[Listening to: It's for You - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

Part Of You

2004-08-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

You walked into my life,
You went straight to my heart.
That's right,
You're flowing through my veins.
The years, they go
Flying by.
Leaving gentle traces of time
In our eyes;
Chapters have been opened and closed again.
And still here we are
Talking again,
As if time has been standing still
Nothing has changed.
Yet, everything is changed all at once.
But..I am still part of you.
Though, through space and time
I surrender
Still loving you solid as the moon,
Soft and tender
I dream someday of again holding you.

[Listening to: It's for You - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

Still

2004-08-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

After your eyes
Pierced right through
After your words
Sounded so true.
After I vowed
To love you complete
After I opened up to you
Now in the night I bleed.
I still want to feel
Your strength around me
I still want to hear
You breathe.
After every little lie
I still came back for more.
After every tear I cried
There were still more and more.
But I still want to feel
Your breath upon my skin
I still long to be
The point where you begin.

[Listening to: It's for You - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

Pleading For

2004-08-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

One
Single
Touch
Electrifying
Mind altering
Body rocking
Mystifying
Reeling
Touch
Just
One

[Listening to: Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress - The Hollies - 1970's Classic Rock ]

For You

2004-08-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

Reaching I scream out
Longing in the darkness
For you.
Cold and shattered
My dreams are battered
because of you.
Running lost
Staring through stained glass
I look for you.
Probably far away
Not as near as today
I'll be with you.
Take one little peice of my soul
I give to you, take it now
with you.
Come closer
it's for you.

[Listening to: Man! I feel like a woman! - Shania Twain - Come On Over ]

Waiting For Day Break

2004-08-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

Which way will I run
What road will we go
Is this what's begun
How will I know?
If I am calling for you
Will you hear the sound
Restless and blue
This is what I've found.
Tomorrow I'll see the light
I'll find my place in the sky
Everything will be all right
Tomrrow I will try.

[Listening to: It's for You - Melissa Etheridge - Never Enough ]

Lost

2004-08-06T12:47:00.000-07:00

Sleepless in the darkness
Beyond my mind, restless
Wandering from place to place
Caught in this forbidden space.
Clouds dance slow
Moods swings to and fro
Waiting for a word from you
'Till sunlight, will I make it through.

[Listening to: Stronger Than Me - Melissa Etheridge - Breakdown ]

Burning

2004-07-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

the deceit burns
like acid on your flesh in the moonlight.
i get lost easily
fighting to find my way by flashlight
through thicket
and twine wrapped among the mosses
as if it were left there
to entangle and bring together the losses.
place your hand my body
warm and melting beneath the anger within
pain coming through as dry ice in wine
i'll forget the lies
one day i will forget there ever was a time.

Meeting

2004-07-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

Come
let me see you again
i'll touch your face
you'll feel my grace
we never will have sinned.
Ride
through the hills with me
wind in our hair
they'll be no scare
i'll ride throughout eternity.

Carry Me

2004-07-20T17:11:00.000-07:00

Three little sets of eyes
peering through the morning mist
"i love you"
soundlessly spoken
reverberations through my mind
to carry me through the day.
Three little sets of arms
to hug me tight goodbye
their strength comes through in droves
to carry me through the day.
Three little hearts
beating with my own
soothing the sounds restless in the night
pure innocence and strength
to carry me through the day.

They...

2004-07-19T17:49:00.000-07:00

When it's time
They call your name
Who are they, you'll find you ask
They are whomever you make of them.
They come in the night
And take you away
They hold your hand
When you go astray
They walk with you through the darkness
They feed you when you're out
They guide you with their whispers
They deter you with a shove.
They are whomever you make of them
No matter,
They are always there...

Shelter

2004-07-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

Fear
frustration
caressing my soul
Make it through
each tomorrow
simply is my goal
Winds chill
bones from the inside
wrapping up in you
safe and warm in your embrace
'tis the home in which I hide.

Hidden

2004-07-16T05:44:00.000-07:00

Like a child, I hide
folding myself in the waves of your skirt
shivering
frightened.
Your scent envelopes me
like a secret cloak in which I find safety
only mine
serene.

Savior

2004-07-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

Speak to my mind
Feel my heart breathe
Catch the moon with ribbon and twine
Hand her genty to me...
The night whispers names
Starlight fires the love
Evil sparks the game
Rescue me from above...

Testing

2004-07-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

Walking through Amber Waves of Grain

2004-07-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

I wanna Know

2004-07-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

....Will you follow me into the night?
Deep inside the darkness, entwined within the twilight?
Stars above light the way
I find myself so lost in you
I long....
I long to know if you would
Follow me.........